Masterpiece In Progress - Part 8

“Dien Pham - Eulogy July 2024

Life:

Dien Pham was born in central Vietnam on March 8^th, 1946 as number 7 out of 11 children. The 1940s were a tumultuous decade marked by significant events and developments worldwide, especially due to World War II (1939-1945) and its aftermath. Many colonies in Asia began to gain independence from European powers.

She studied as a pharmacist and, ultimately, met Pastor Pham while visiting one of his military classes, where he was a captain. They soon married. During the invasion of the south by the communist north, they each took a bag and ran south on foot until they could not run anymore. After the fall of southern Vietnam, Pastor Pham spent 10 years as a prisoner of war because he worked with the Americans. Prison was not brick and mortar but rather deep in the jungles where death came by disease, hunger, and inconspicuous execution. These executions were a nightly occurrence as to not bring international scrutiny like the Cambodian genocide by Pol Pot. She would travel for days trying to find him risking assault as no civilian can harbor family members of the Republic in fear of government retribution. Sleeping in the rain was not unusual. She brought food and medicine to not only help Pastor Pham to survive but the guards, also. Many times, officers would visit Dien to tell her that her husband had passed away. They said this because they wanted to court her because of her incredible beauty. She chose not to believe Pham was dead until she saw his body. Despite the prison camp moving to unknown locations repeatedly, she managed to find him no matter how long or hard. 

Although fear was present, she managed to ultimately create the best and largest pharmacy for the entire province carrying the best authentic international medicines. Numerous times, her entire house and business were stripped of all possessions because of the ideology that all assets belonged to the government. 

Because they lived in the political south, her children were not allowed to surpass 11^th grade. Dien and Pastor Pham would spend countless days figuring out a way to escape. Fortunately, we were able to emigrate to America. At first Pastor Pham thought the government was trying to trick him to take him away from his family as this was common. 

America and business:

In 1991 Dien and Pastor Pham arrived in Atlanta, GA with four young children, a few small suitcases, and little understanding of the English language. Georgia? What’s that? Large patches of trees from the air reminded her of the prisoner of war days. She saw working a $4.50/hour factory job and taking handouts as unsustainable. She valued hard work. She learned broken English enough to pass her cosmetology exam to obtain a clinical license to open nail salons and hone her business skills. She rose early to make sure her family had hot meals, arrived home late, often between 9:00 and 10:00pm and made sure her children were full and safely in bed. Together they put 4 children through college. Making an A- was considered failure in her house. Each of her children had the freedom to pursue any medical specialty he or she saw fit. She would drop them off at the library on many weekends from 9am-4pm because it was free childcare and a safe environment. Because no thugs would check out books! 

She often said, "My children go through formal school and I am the school of life."

American Culture:

Learning a completely new culture later in life is a difficult task. She did. She was open to new ideas and remained curious by seeking to understand before being understood. Although she may not agree with everything, she welcomed and loved each person as a human being. She valued relationship more than being right. A powerful lesson indeed. 

Ministry:

As a wife to a pastor, she lived out the book of life. She gave her all to her community in service, counseling, and giving. She did not give you the fish but rather taught many how to fish. For example, in Vietnam, the poor villagers would come to the city and mom provided them each with a full basket of medicines. They sold them back home to benefit their community and make a profit. She provided the initial capital and taught them how to be successful. She spearheaded opportunities for numerous families and changed the trajectory for many generations to come. 

Life Lessons:

She often said life isn’t black and white but rather full of color. No degree can teach you how to love others but rather sound character is clearly displayed through action. She applied life lessons to be better tomorrow than today. She did not ask to be praised in public but she surely wanted to know if you loved her cooking (she will ask 10 times during a meal). Words of affirmation and act of service were her love languages. Strength and honor but most of all, grace. Grace is something freely given without an expectation in return. She showed grace abundantly in her family, her business, her ministry, and her friendships.

A life of faith and obedience brings scripture to life. 

Proverbs 31:10-31

Who can find a virtuous and capable wife?

She is more precious than rubies.

11Her husband can trust her,

and she will greatly enrich his life.

12She brings him good, not harm,

all the days of her life.

13She finds wool and flax

and busily spins it.

14She is like a merchant’s ship,

bringing her food from afar.

15She gets up before dawn to prepare breakfast for her household

and plan the day’s work for her servant girls.

She goes to inspect a field and buys it;

with her earnings she plants a vineyard.

17She is energetic and strong,

a hard worker.

18She makes sure her dealings are profitable;

her lamp burns late into the night.

19Her hands are busy spinning thread,

her fingers twisting fiber.

20She extends a helping hand to the poor

and opens her arms to the needy.

21She has no fear of winter for her household,

for everyone has warm clothes.

22She makes her own bedspreads.

She dresses in fine linen and purple gowns.

Her husband is well known at the city gates,

where he sits with the other civic leaders.

24She makes belted linen garments

and sashes to sell to the merchants.

25She is clothed with strength and dignity,

and she laughs without fear of the future.

26When she speaks, her words are wise,

and she gives instructions with kindness.

27She carefully watches everything in her household

and suffers nothing from laziness.

28Her children stand and bless her.

Her husband praises her:

29“There are many virtuous and capable women in the world,

but you surpass them all!”

30Charm is deceptive, and beauty does not last;

but a woman who fears the Lord will be greatly praised.

31Reward her for all she has done.

Let her deeds publicly declare her praise.

God changes who we are!

Ephesians 4:17-19

So I tell you this, and insist on it in the Lord, that you must no longer live as the Gentiles do, in the futility of their thinking. 18They are darkened in their understanding and separated from the life of God because of the ignorance that is in them due to the hardening of their hearts. 19Having lost all sensitivity, they have given themselves over to sensuality so as to indulge in every kind of impurity, and they are full of greed.

Take off the coat!

Ephesians 4:20-24

That, however, is not the way of life you learned21when you heard about Christ and were taught in him in accordance with the truth that is in Jesus. 22You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; 23to be made new in the attitude of your minds; 24and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness.

Practical Application

Ephesians 4:25-29

Therefore each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to your neighbor, for we are all members of one body. 26“In your anger do not sin”: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, 27and do not give the devil a foothold. 28Anyone who has been stealing must steal no longer, but must work, doing something useful with their own hands, that they may have something to share with those in need.

29Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.

Verse 31-32

Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. 32Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.

Follow the Holy Spirit!

Ephesians 4:30

And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption.